The Dolce Vita

Ramadhan has been realy great. I love eating at home with my little family and my big family, the luxurious spread, prayers at home...little bunny boy jumping all around. The sweetness of Ramadhan is really here to stay :)

Anyway, Luq is one busy boy these days. He's extremely active , and i worry that when he starts crawling or walking for that matter, i am the one who will need to do the catching up! But he never fails to amuse us with his dazzling smiles and cute laughters. Even his round round head is adorable. He is definitely the centre of our lives at home. I long to hold him every single minute that i am away from him.

I have started reading again, and when i start it can be pretty intensive. I will start wanting the writer's life, like this book i am reading the writer is learning italian in italy. Can i have her Dolce Vita? I sometimes imagine myself as this single lady, who sorta want to find a reason in life and starts travelling the world, observing cultures, eating foreign food (drool- pizza margerita!) meeting new people etc. Well that aint happening cos
1. i cant afford it; 2. i have a full time job that does not allow me to take holidays just like that 3. i have luqqie bee and will never leave on a holiday without him- we have never in this 7months slept without each other.

With just work and just a daily life, it gets kind of boring. There is this void needing to be filled.

I wish i was more adventurous. These days with the baby we are home by 6, we have dinner by 8 and put the baby to sleep at 9. I spend some time reading or surfing (yes as u can see very little time with housework). We very rarely eat out, not just because it is expensive, but also i query the hygene of some eateries, especially that i dont want to introduce my son to bad eating habits at such a young age. LOL!
We dont really invite our friends over because i cant cook well hence there is no entertainment for guests. (working on that department).
I wish i could be like that writer. I wish i could pick up my baby, run to the airport and travel in a foreign land for a few months, taste their food, allow my son to experience the things i never get to do. Feed the ducks, run in the woods, play by the beach, collecting seashells.

Just want a piece of that dolce vita!

Co sleep with lion cub

When i brought the baby home from the hospital, i introduced him to a sleep routine quickly. I dimmed the lights and switched the aircon to cool, not making too much noise that could wake him up. In the first month he woke up every other hour for feedings. By the third month he has managed to sleep through the nite, and alhamdulillah at 7 months he continues to sleep through the night until about 4 to 5 for some bfeeding. It helps a lot with some formula milk before bedtime, if not baby will get hungry faster, but for most mothers ;bfeed or mixed feed that is their choice to make.
I am such a great advocate of co-sleeping. I just loveee sleeping with my child. I love having him in my arms, just next to me, kissing his soft cheeks. I know that there are so many benefits of things like babywearing, no-walker policy and co-sleeping. But now that Luq is bigger, he sleeps earlier than us, and he also tends to roll to the left and right and hopefully he does not fall off the big big bed without us noticing. I plan to introduce the baby cot to him slowly. Right now he only uses the cot to play. I will need to place the cot next to my bed and he sleeps in the cot whilst i sleep on the bed. That way he is close enough for me to watch him sleep, and if he needs a feed i can just scoop him up for him to join me on the family bed. Sigh, i love kissing him and caressing him at night when he is next to me, but just have to accept that my lil lion cub is growing up super fast!

Fussing over Luqqie Bee

My baby is 7 months now! How time flies and i already miss his infant days as i view his newborn pictures on the laptop. Today he can roar like a lion cub, suara lantang! He has been twirling twirling on the bed, almost ready to crawl i think. Most people are concerned about their baby's milestone, and by now Luqqie Bee should be crawling and sitting on his own already but i will let him take his pace in that department. There is no need to rush because today he is one perfectly healthy baby.
He is also very responsive towards me, when i come home everyday he will beam and flash his biggest smile, all with glee, maybe he has been waiting one whole day for me and just the sight of me makes him jump like a bee!
There still exist the guilty feeling of leaving him with my mother and the maid whilst i work. More guilty feeling if i decide to run some errands or meet a friend after work, more 'me' time but it also means less time with my baby. That is why i prefer to carry the baby wherever i go.
I know that being a mother, there is no substitute for you. Not the father,not the doting grandparents, and certainly not the efficient maid. The mother is the circle of the baby's life. Sometimes people call this overprotective, but the baby came out of me, so it is only natural that God create this feeling, this sense of belonging and overprotection over the baby. And it is only natural that a mother only wants the best for her baby.
I am extremely lucky to have families as caretakers for my baby when i am away at work, or in cases that i wont be able to bring the baby along. But i still want to be there for him all the time, and i dont want to miss out at all at this crucial time when he is growing up really fast, the first few words, the first step, the introduction to food! As much as i miss his happy grin, i am sure my baby misses me more since i am still breastfeeding.
Being a mother, there is so much to sacrifice, going over and beyond what others think...but of course every mother will tell you that it is all worth it. And still,all the books will tell you that the mother's face is the most interesting thing in the baby's early world!

Luqqie Bee , Mommy wuvs u 4eva!

Abah doing the Angie Jolie

it's abah's boy!



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Such a mama's boy

more random thots

Sometimes i wonder how our parents did it. My parents had 5 kids, and before there was 5, the 4 of us grew up together. Both my parents worked. Very hard. I remember my dad used to work late nights. But i also remember that my mother also worked, but other times when she was not at work, she was with us all the time. The stay in maid was put in charge when my mom went to work, and those times when my mom was not around life was hell. Not because i hated the maid, or that i was sick. But mostly because i needed my mother. I needed to see her face, i needed her touch, i needed her to cook for me and make me my ribena in the bottle. I cried at times when she drove away or out for work. I never knew why. I never understood why other people had to take her away even for the briefest moment. My mother belonged to me. She was my world, my life.

My son needs me now. he is my world, my life.

Random thots ll

I bought the newspaper today and it wasnt such a good idea. The thing with printed media is that it's glaring when put on the table and you are forced to read it. For virtual media it sorts of turn blank and black when the lappie is left idle for a few minutes, then things starts logging off.
And the thing about newspapers is that they tell you things you are afraid to learn, things you dont want to read about. War. Crimes. Torture. Economic downturn. Things reflecting that the world is really ending.
I sometimes worry what the future holds for my son. I worry that life can be cruel to him. It is only natural that every parent wants the best for their child. I worry that he needs more willpower to survive. Better education to be strong and faithful.

Random thots

It has been rather light and easy at work this week. I have been reading so many blogs, yet why are there so many happy blogs? what happen to those depressing aka revolutionary road kind of blogs? my kind of blogs?sigh sigh sigh

Luqman has been superb at night. Jam 9-10pm zonk out. Hence Mommy has ample time to do things of her own ie. browse net for our coming weekend holiday.
EXCEPT reading proper books. I dont know why i have lost that touch. I used to be able to read every night. Even when Luq was smaller i even read while i bfeed him. what happened?? Ok azam hari ni, must read at least for half an hour everynight. Starts tonight. Boleh ke?

Hmm today i went back at lunch and fed my baby what my mum made- potato plus sweet potato and carrot. All blended and pureed. Memang best when i am reunited with my baby; i love taking care of him and i miss him everyday that we are not together. Over tak? Memang. Time flies really fast that sometimes its hard to capture that he is already 6 months old and no more that wrinkly red baby i held last December. He is a strong active baby who knows what it means to demand! I have failed to record everyday how he has grown up and sometimes i worry, will i ever forget how my baby was when he was this teeny weeny creature? Of course not- a mother never forgets!

Isnt it beautiful?

:)sigh!

6 months of Parenthood

Parenthood is a WHOLE new world. Here are some stuff that i have learned after 6 months:

1) That life after having a baby is never the same again. Your life revolves around the baby and you got to get used to the fact that everything is about him!

2) All the pregnancy pains and pains of labour are forgotten much earlier that i have ever expected.

3) I think about my baby 24-7. Literally 24-7. My baby completes me, completes my family.

4) I can't love anything more than i love my baby. and my husband of course!

5) Other people's views does not matter. Only mine matters. Because the baby came out of me.

6) Breastfeeding is the key/answers/cure to everything.

7) Those who dont read the babybooks really does not know what is happening/they are talking about. Really.

8)Grandparents are human and they also forget how to be new parents.

9) I feel more at ease bringing baby along anywhere; as long as he is near and close to me.

10) The best that i can give my baby is my milk; and my time. Nothing replaces that.

July already?

It has been such busy weekends. But wonderful. More busy weekends to come this July/August. What? It's July already???? where did the time go?

I was reading a write up about people/employees/employers who are one dimensional, with really nothing to offer beyond their vocational skills. That kept me a bit worried. Of course other than my job i have my life and soul of the love and care for my son, and the ongoing child development research that i do as he grows up. But that's just about it. I have offered myself to tutor undergrads as a way of contributing to society as well as for myself, but that is still work under construction. i have given up my book club for now, and travelling is not something that one can do every other month (altho one would love to do this!).


soooo..PHN needs a new book to read/entertain herself with! Thats what I need!!!!